“The image of the bad man is gone now”

Manon was 17 years old when she became a victim in a serious traffic accident and lost her foot. While her friends were enjoying life to the fullest, Manon was a rehabilitation center, working tirelessly to get her old life back. Three years after the accident, she met the truck driver who had caused the accident under the guidance of a mediator. “I immediately thought: this man never had bad intentions.”

“In 2016 I was in a car accident with my ex-boyfriend and his family. We were on our way to a vacation address. I can’t remember much of the accident, but I have been told that we were overtaking, and the truck driver simply did not see us. The van that I was in flipped over and ended up on the other side of the road. I was in the hospital for eight weeks after that, and I had thirteen surgeries. Both of my feet had been crushed, and unfortunately my left foot ended up being amputated. I now live with a leg prosthetic."

No contact

Three years after the accident, Manon met the truck driver. “It took so long because shortly after the accident, the relationship between me and my boyfriend at the time ended. I also had no contact with his family anymore after that. The truck driver told my ex-family in law that he wanted to get in contact with me, but because I was no longer in contact with them, it didn’t work out. Because of that, I was left with uncertainty for three years, because I didn’t know who the person was who had caused the accident. I imagined that man as a very bad man. I couldn’t understand why, when you know that a 17-year-old girl lost her lower leg because of the accident, you don’t try to contact her."

Eventually he took that step and applied for restorative mediation. “I got a phone call from my lawyer, that he had contacted Perspectief. That was kind of a shock for me, you don’t expect someone to do that after three years. I had to think about it for a little bit, but I did want to get in contact because I was curious about his side of the story. So I talked to him. First, I talked to Perspectief mediator Rianne, together with my mother. She prepared me for the meeting and made me feel very comfortable. I knew what I could expect during the meeting, and that was very nice.”

"Who is that man?" 

They agreed to have the meeting in a neutral place. “In a village halfway in between where we lived. I was very nervous beforehand, because for three years I had no idea who that man was. In my head he was a very bad man. Who is that man? How is he going to react when he sees me? But also: how will I react when I see him? But from the moment I walked in, I saw the mediator, and she opened the conversation, the tension immediately dropped.”

“From the moment I walked in and saw the man, the image of the bad man disappeared immediately. I could see he was very emotional, just like his wife who was there as well. I immediately thought: this man never had bad intentions. That made me emotional too. Thanks to the mediator, the meeting went very well. I was able to ask the questions I had. But he and his wife were also able to ask the questions they had for me. During the conversation, a lot of things got cleared up. It was very nice to be able to talk about it. For three years I had wondered: what exactly happened? Now, the story was a bit more complete.”

“During the meeting, I realized he was a very kind man. Towards the end, the truck driver asked if he and his wife could also meet with my parents some time, because they could imagine very well how much it must’ve hurt my parents as well. When I came home from the meeting, I told them it had been a big relief for me, and asked them whether they also wanted to meet with him. They planned a second meeting with my parents. I’m extremely happy that they did that, because now they can also get some closure. It’s never really closed, of course, we’re still confronted with it every day that I have this now. But we were able to deal with it now, we’re able to talk about it at home.”