The way in which restorative mediation can help is different for everyone. Often times the mediation can help participants to process the event and move on from it. Here, you can read about their experiences.
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One-on-one Samenspraak: the meeting between Sas and RickOp 38-jarige leeftijd komt Sas door herbelevingen tot de realisatie dat zij in haar jonge jeugd seksueel is misbruikt. Rick heeft jonge kinderen misbruikt en probeert zijn daderschap om te zetten in iets positiefs. In een één-op-één Samenspraak gaan Sas en Rick onder begeleiding van bemiddelaar Tamara het gesprek met elkaar aan over wat zij hebben meegemaakt, en delen hun perspectieven hierover.
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Jolanda talked with the boy who killed her son: ‘I wanted answers’In 2021, Jolanda’s son Perry (21) was killed when his then 17-year-old friend Damian stabbed him in a parking lot. “For a long time, I had no idea what had gotten into him. Only once I got in contact with him, I got answers and peace,” Jolanda says, who talked with Damian and later also his parents.
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“The conversation with my uncle gave me space and empowerment, and that’s what mattered to me.”When she was 43, Gaby had a conversation with her uncle, who sexually abused her when she was a child. “I wanted to hand the secret and the responsibility regarding all of this back to him, and with that take back my agency and my freedom."
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“It offered me a lot, especially peace and clarity.”Esther* (49) experienced sexually transgressive behavior when she was a student. She tucked the experience away and hid from it, but the memory of that night recently resurfaced. She decided she needed to do something about it, and applied at Perspectief to get in contact and talk with the other person about what happened.
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“That fearful look in her eyes haunted me for a long time.”The girl that suddenly crossed the road on her bike looked Henk straight in the eyes at the last moment. Then his truck hit her. “That fearful look in her eyes. It haunted me for a long time. That’s why I started searching.”
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Hannah about restorative mediation after sexual abuse (incest)In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.'
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Daisy: “I really wanted to know how the driver was doing.”Two weeks after his 15-year-old daughter was hit by a truck, Francel wanted to get in contact with the driver. “I heard he was on sick leave. I proposed to meet with him, we would both feel better after that.”
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Sonja: “I’m okay with him.”Sonja got in contact with the man who raped her almost 20 years ago. “I feel more calm,” she says. “I can run into him in the street now.”
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A conversation with the store robber after 25 years: “What have I got to lose?”The store robbery that Belinda experienced has had a great impact on her life ever since. It even led to physical issues. Now that she has had a conversation with the perpetrator, her life has changed a lot. “I’m very happy I did it. A lot of fear got lifted from my shoulders.”