Experiences of participants

Janet’s life changed completely on October 21, 2022 when she woke up aand saw a message in the NOS app about an accident between a ferry and a water taxi near Terschelling. Her husband was missing. "It felt like waking up in a nightmare." Contact with others who were involved helped Janet to process what had happened.

In this interview at Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling, Jolanda speaks with the perpetrator’s father, Dave. They both talk about how the aftermath of this terrible event has affected them, and about how Jolanda came into contact with both the boy and his parents through Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling.

On the last night of her graduation trip to Spain, an intimate encounter with a Dutch boy went much further than she wanted or had indicated. Sofie, who was still a minor at the time, had her life turned upside down. With the help of Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling, she hoped to find a way to process her questions and emotions.

At the age of 38, Sas realizes through flashbacks that she was sexually abused in her early childhood. She slowly starts feeling the need to get in contact with the offender. Rick has sexually abused young children, and is trying to turn his actions into something positive. In a one-on-one Samenspraak meeting, Sas and Rick* have a conversation under the guidance of mediator Tamara, to talk about what they went through, and to share their perspectives on it. 

In 2021, Jolanda’s son Perry (21) was killed when his then 17-year-old friend Damian stabbed him in a parking lot. “For a long time, I had no idea what had gotten into him. Only once I got in contact with him, I got answers and peace,” Jolanda says, who talked with Damian and later also his parents.

When she was 43, Gaby had a conversation with her uncle, who sexually abused her when she was a child. “I wanted to hand the secret and the responsibility regarding all of this back to him, and with that take back my agency and my freedom."

Esther* (49) experienced sexually transgressive behavior when she was a student. She tucked the experience away and hid from it, but the memory of that night recently resurfaced. She decided she needed to do something about it, and applied at Perspectief to get in contact and talk with the other person about what happened.

The girl that suddenly crossed the road on her bike looked Henk straight in the eyes at the last moment. Then his truck hit her. “That fearful look in her eyes. It haunted me for a long time. That’s why I started searching.” 

In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.'