The way in which restorative mediation can help is different for everyone. Often times the mediation can help participants to process the event and move on from it. Here, you can read about their experiences.
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Feline: “I owe it to myself to live life to the fullest.”Feline (31) fell victim to sexual assault when she was sixteen years old. After years of therapy, she wanted to let the perpetrator know what kind of impact this had had on her life. “Eventually, I dared to look the perpetrator in the eyes, and I read a letter to him. Such a release.”
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“If we happened to run into each other again, we can look each other straight in the eyes.”For almost 10 years, Amy* was a gymnast at a professional level. Under the care of several former trainers, she was a victim of transgressive behaviors for a long time. With one of the former trainers, she did restorative mediation.
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"When the victim said: I don't blame you. That meant a lot to me."Marco is a truck driver. He causes a serious accident, is which a person dies. After the accident, Marco's life is turned upside down. On the recommendation of his employer, he talks to one of the victims with the guidance of a mediator from Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling.
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Evi wanted to look the robber in the eyesAt first, Evi didn’t want to invest any more energy into the robbery that happened at the drug store she had been a manager at for years. But then her motherly heart got in the mix. 'I hoped I could contribute to a better life for him.' She’s also happy for herself that she agreed to a mediation.
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“The image of the bad man is gone now”Manon was 17 years old when she became a victim in a serious traffic accident and lost her foot. Three years after the accident, she met the truck driver who had caused the accident under the guidance of a mediator. “I immediately thought: this man never had bad intentions.”
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Put the past to restA fight in a local pub escalates. Martijn stabs Gerard in the stomach with a large knife. Martijn is sentenced to four years, and spends two years and eight months in prison. Years later, Martijn en Gerard meet up to talk. Gerard: “I had to get rid of that feeling somehow. Of constantly being angry.”
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“It was traumatic for me, but also for him”Mick Smits Hattink lost her husband Jan Smits in a bicycle accident. She told Volkskrant Magazine how she met the guy that hit her husband a year after the accident. “He only cried. I told him I do not blame him.”
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Ilonka: “I was able to tell my story, I was in control.”Twelve years after athlete Ilonka was raped by her trainer, she met up with him again. A mediator from Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling guided the meeting. “The roles were reversed now. I was able to tell my story, I was in control, and that was a good thing for me.”
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A conversation with the offender: “I’m here to get closure.”E. was sexually abused as a child by a family friend. 35 years later, he meets with him. “I’m here to get closure.”