Jordi: “I turned from criminal to human again”

“Being a perpetrator doesn’t mean that person is completely evil. Everyone has love inside of them. Maybe the perpetrator takes really good care of his mother. That’s true for me as well. I regret the robberies that I committed. But even though I committed them, what I did does not define me. I wanted to get in contact with the victims to tell them how I ended up in the criminal circuit.” Jordi (27) talks about his experience with restorative mediation. 

“I was eighteen when I got caught up in a scam with a phone subscription. Suddenly I was in a large amount of debt. A friend of mine knew a quick way to get money. Through him, I got in contact with a criminal network, and when I squandered their first tip, I got stuck. Fairly quickly, I was pressured to commit one armed robbery after the other. They threatened to hurt my mother if I did not comply. I know now that you always have a choice, but in that moment I did not realize that. 

The last time, we didn’t rob a shop, but a house. We rang the doorbell and threatened the man who lived there with a gun. ‘There is no money here,’ he said. I went upstairs to search for it, and I encountered his 20-year-old son. He had just come out of the shower and got so startled he started hyperventilating. I put my gun away and tried to help him. Of course, I was thinking about him, but I was also thinking about not wanting to get caught. Without any money, we left the house. A few weeks later we were arrested for several ‘high impact crimes’.

During the court hearing, the homeowner of the house I robbed, Mr. Vermeulen*, was also present, just like my mother. They got acquainted. It was more than that, really, Mr. Vermeulen supported my mother during the whole process. ‘What your son did cannot be excused, but he is not a criminal,’ he said. ‘That much I know.’ This was really comforting for her, she had a difficult time with the whole situation.” 

"In prison, I found peace"

“In total, I got sentenced to five years, and I was in a closed prison for two years. After that, I went to a half-open correctional facility, followed by an open correctional facility, and an ankle monitor. In prison, I found peace. I knew what I was there for, and was able to accept my punishment. In an old agenda I read the phrase: ‘The path to happiness is to stop worrying about things you cannot control’. This quote has become a guide for me. Besides, I am the kind of person who always tries to make the best out of a bad situation.”

“In the correctional facility I found a flyer of Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling. I went to my case manager to tell him I wanted mediation with all my victims. In court, I had already expressed remorse, but I wanted to see them again to tell my side of the story. To let them know it was nothing personal. I wanted people to understand why I did what I did. It was not to get their sympathy, and not to hide behind it. In the flyer, I read that it’s important for victims to be able to talk about what it did to them and how the crime affected them. This can help them work through what happened. Only Mr. Vermeulen and his son were open to a conversation. I sent a letter to the other victims.”

The meeting

"I talked to both men separately. The son got scared when I walked into the room. It was like he was reliving the robbery again. ‘I understand that you still feel this way,’ I told him. I listened to his story, and to his father’s story, I listened to how they felt about it. And I could tell them about my reasons for doing it. They were very open, and were able to see the good in me. Both men are driving instructors, and offered me driving lessons for when I’d get out of prison. Mr. Vermeulen gave me a driver’s theory book so that I could spend my time in prison in a useful way. I think you’ve come very far as a person when you’re able to wonder about why someone else would do something like this. I turned from criminal to human again. That was the effect of the conversations for me.”

Grown up

“I’ve been out of prison for five years now. I did not take their offer, although I did really appreciate it. I got my driver’s license through my job. I’m doing well. I’m a father now, I have a steady job as a youth social worker, I got several diplomas and I started my own record label with a friend. I’m also working to help the youth that is in the criminal circuit right now, by listening to them and telling them my story. I give trainings at schools and at the probation center, and even in the prison where I was once detained myself. I’ve accomplished a lot, I think. I used the time that I was in prison to self-reflect. I’ve grown up there, I learned to stand up for myself and empower myself. 

I know now that I’m a passionate young man full of love and happiness, that also has a lot of issues to deal with, but will never give up. I know what I want to accomplish and I do this for myself, not for others. Money is no longer important to me. It makes things easier, but it’s not a temptation anymore.”

“I look back on the mediation by Perspectief Herstelbemiddeling with a good feeling. I really like that the mediator had a good look at the people he was dealing with and what kind of guidance they needed. Because of this, the actual conversation together went very smoothly.”

*The names of the victims have been changed due to privacy reasons.

Watch the full video of our interview with Jordi below.