After (sexual) abuse
After sexual abuse or transgressive behavior
Were you in some way involved in sexually transgressive behavior, sexual violence or abuse? Or do you know someone who was? Here you can read more about how restorative mediation works and how it can help with recovery.
Restorative mediation after sexually transgressive behavior, sexual violence or sexual abuse is available for anyone who was involved in it. It is often the case that they know each other and have to find some way to move on together. A conversation can be a (first) step in the direction of recovery and processing the event.
Restorative mediation can happen at any moment. It doesn’t matter when the event took place; a short time ago, or years or decades ago. Restorative mediation is also possible without a police report, for example in cases where a criminal trial is not possible or the victim does not want to report the offender for any kind of reason.
The gravity of the event does not matter for restorative mediation. It’s all about how the people involved feel about the event, the consequences they experience, and whether they want to get in contact with the other person. Also after online sexual abuse, something that happens more and more often, we can help the people who were involved.
Is this right for me?
Restorative mediation can offer peace and relief in the recovery process of the event. In case the people involved know each other, they can also make agreements for the future. For example, about what you’ll do when you run into each other by chance, and how you want to interact with each other.
Often times, participants have many different reasons to want to get in contact, like asking questions or showing remorse:
- ‘Why did this happen to me?’
- ‘I want to talk about how the rape affected me.’
- ‘I want to get over my fears by having a meeting.’
- ‘I now understand better how my behavior affected the other person.’
- ‘I feel guilty about what happened, and I want them to know that.’
- ‘They now know they no longer need to be afraid of me.’
The reason for contact can be different for anyone. Our mediator will explore with you how restorative mediation can help you.
How does restorative mediation work?
After you apply, the mediator will have a conversation with you about your wants and wishes regarding the mediation process. Only after that and with your permission, the mediator will contact the other person. Participation is always voluntary and confidential. It is completely free of cost, you don’t have to pay anything. Read more about how it works.
Anyone can contact us: we are happy to tell you more about what we do.
You can also apply for an intake directly.
Read the experience stories of people who applied for restorative mediation after sexual violence or abuse.
Experiences of participants
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Hannah about restorative mediation after sexual abuse (incest)In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.'
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Sonja: “I’m okay with him.”Sonja got in contact with the man who raped her almost 20 years ago. “I feel more calm,” she says. “I can run into him in the street now.”
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“As a child, I couldn’t stand up for myself, and now I can.”For a time during high school, Sarah* (25) was tutored almost weekly. She realises now that the transgressive behaviour that the man, a family friend, showed towards her, was not okay. “I wanted to let him know how it had affected me, and how it still affects me.”
Moving on after a traumatic event. This is how we do it.
The way in which restorative mediation can help is different for everyone. In this video we explain in short what restorative mediation is. We also explain how it works and how it can help you.
Want to know more about restorative mediation?
Curious about what we can do for you?
