The way in which restorative mediation can help is different for everyone. Often times the mediation can help participants to process the event and move on from it. Here, you can read about their experiences.
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“It offered me a lot, especially peace and clarity.”Esther* (49) experienced sexually transgressive behavior when she was a student. She tucked the experience away and hid from it, but the memory of that night recently resurfaced. She decided she needed to do something about it, and applied at Perspectief to get in contact and talk with the other person about what happened.
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“That fearful look in her eyes haunted me for a long time.”The girl that suddenly crossed the road on her bike looked Henk straight in the eyes at the last moment. Then his truck hit her. “That fearful look in her eyes. It haunted me for a long time. That’s why I started searching.”
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Hannah about restorative mediation after sexual abuse (incest)In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.'
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Daisy: “I really wanted to know how the driver was doing.”Two weeks after his 15-year-old daughter was hit by a truck, Francel wanted to get in contact with the driver. “I heard he was on sick leave. I proposed to meet with him, we would both feel better after that.”
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Sonja: “I’m okay with him.”Sonja got in contact with the man who raped her almost 20 years ago. “I feel more calm,” she says. “I can run into him in the street now.”
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A conversation with the store robber after 25 years: “What have I got to lose?”The store robbery that Belinda experienced has had a great impact on her life ever since. It even led to physical issues. Now that she has had a conversation with the perpetrator, her life has changed a lot. “I’m very happy I did it. A lot of fear got lifted from my shoulders.”
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“As a child, I couldn’t stand up for myself, and now I can.”For a time during high school, Sarah* (25) was tutored almost weekly. She realises now that the transgressive behaviour that the man, a family friend, showed towards her, was not okay. “I wanted to let him know how it had affected me, and how it still affects me.”
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“Meeting her sister was an important part of my closure.”On Christmas Eve of 2020, Eva (25) hit a cyclist with her car. The woman on the bike wasn’t paying attention; it wasn’t Eva’s fault. The woman died. The victim’s sister wanted to talk to Eva afterwards, to let her know she was not to blame.
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Jordi: “I turned from criminal to human again”“Being a perpetrator doesn’t mean that person is completely evil. That’s true for me as well. I regret the robberies that I committed. I wanted to get in contact with the victims to tell them how I ended up in the criminal circuit.” Jordi (27) talks about his experience with restorative mediation.