Experiences of participants

At the age of 38, Sas realizes through flashbacks that she was sexually abused in her early childhood. She slowly starts feeling the need to get in contact with the offender. Rick has sexually abused young children, and is trying to turn his actions into something positive. In a one-on-one Samenspraak meeting, Sas and Rick* have a conversation under the guidance of mediator Tamara, to talk about what they went through, and to share their perspectives on it. 

In 2021, Jolanda’s son Perry (21) was killed when his then 17-year-old friend Damian stabbed him in a parking lot. “For a long time, I had no idea what had gotten into him. Only once I got in contact with him, I got answers and peace,” Jolanda says, who talked with Damian and later also his parents.

When she was 43, Gaby had a conversation with her uncle, who sexually abused her when she was a child. “I wanted to hand the secret and the responsibility regarding all of this back to him, and with that take back my agency and my freedom."

Esther* (49) experienced sexually transgressive behavior when she was a student. She tucked the experience away and hid from it, but the memory of that night recently resurfaced. She decided she needed to do something about it, and applied at Perspectief to get in contact and talk with the other person about what happened.

The girl that suddenly crossed the road on her bike looked Henk straight in the eyes at the last moment. Then his truck hit her. “That fearful look in her eyes. It haunted me for a long time. That’s why I started searching.” 

In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.' 

Two weeks after his 15-year-old daughter was hit by a truck, Francel wanted to get in contact with the driver. “I heard he was on sick leave. I proposed to meet with him, we would both feel better after that.” 

Sonja got in contact with the man who raped her almost 20 years ago. “I feel more calm,” she says. “I can run into him in the street now.”

The store robbery that Belinda experienced has had a great impact on her life ever since. It even led to physical issues. Now that she has had a conversation with the perpetrator, her life has changed a lot. “I’m very happy I did it. A lot of fear got lifted from my shoulders.”