After sexual abuse or transgressive behavior
Were you in some way involved in sexually transgressive behavior, sexual violence or abuse? Or do you know someone who was? Here you can read more about how restorative mediation works and how it can help with recovery.
Sexually transgressive behavior, sexual violence, or sexual abuse can happen in many different ways. It can happen in public, in a relationship, in a friend group, at work, at school, or on social media. An event like that can have a lot of impact on you and others who were involved. For example, it can make you feel scared, angry, or ashamed. Through restorative mediation, the people involved can talk about what happened under the guidance of a professional mediator. This can help them work through what happened, and can help them recover from it.
Restorative mediation after (sexually) transgressive behavior or abuse is available for anybody who was directly involved, like victims and offenders, but also for people who were indirectly involved. Think of family members, friends, employers or board members. It's often the case that the people involved know each other. In that case, it can help to make agreements about how to move on.
Restorative mediation is possible at any moment. It doesn’t matter when the event took place; a short time ago, or years or decades ago. You don't need to make a police report or need to have proof of what happened; what's important is how those who were involved experienced it.
The gravity of the event does not matter for restorative mediation. It’s all about the impact it had on the people involved. Also after online sexual abuse, something that happens more and more often, we can help the people who were involved.
Is this right for me?
Restorative mediation can offer peace and relief in the recovery process of the event. In case the people involved know each other, they can also make agreements for the future. For example, about what you’ll do when you run into each other by chance, and how you want to interact with each other.
Participants often have many different reasons to want to get in contact, like asking questions or showing remorse:
- ‘Why did this happen to me?’
- ‘I want to talk about the impact it had on me.’
- ‘I want to get over my fears by having a meeting.’
- ‘I now understand better how my behavior affected the other person.’
- ‘I feel guilty about what happened, and I want them to know that.’
- ‘They now know they no longer need to be afraid of me.’
The reason for contact can be different for anyone. Our mediator will explore with you how restorative mediation can help you.
How does restorative mediation work?
After you apply, the mediator will have a conversation with you about what happened, why you want to get in contact with the other person, and what your expectations are. Only after that and with your permission, the mediator will contact the other person. Participation is always voluntary and confidential. It is completely free of cost, you don’t have to pay anything. Read more about how it works.
Do you have a question about restorative mediation or your specific situation? Please contact us, we are happy to tell you more about what we do.
You can also apply for an intake directly. This does not mean you commit to anything.
Read the experience stories of people who applied for restorative mediation after sexual violence or abuse.
Experiences of participants
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“The conversation with my uncle gave me space and empowerment, and that’s what mattered to me.”When she was 43, Gaby had a conversation with her uncle, who sexually abused her when she was a child. “I wanted to hand the secret and the responsibility regarding all of this back to him, and with that take back my agency and my freedom."
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“It offered me a lot, especially peace and clarity.”Esther* (49) experienced sexually transgressive behavior when she was a student. She tucked the experience away and hid from it, but the memory of that night recently resurfaced. She decided she needed to do something about it, and applied at Perspectief to get in contact and talk with the other person about what happened.
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Hannah about restorative mediation after sexual abuse (incest)In her childhood, Hannah was sexually abused by her father. Recently, she talked to her mother and father with the help of a mediator. 'I got sincere recognition from my father. I could calmly explain to him how the abuse had affected me.'
Moving on after a traumatic event. This is how we do it.
The way in which restorative mediation can help is different for everyone. In this video we explain in short what restorative mediation is. We also explain how it works and how it can help you.
Want to know more about restorative mediation?
Curious about what we can do for you?
