Els talks to her brother’s murderer
08-05-2019
After her brother Fred is killed by his partner, Els feels the need to get in contact with the perpetrator. Through Perspectief, Els talks to him in prison. From that moment, Els knows that forgiveness is the way to go for her.
On Monday the 12th of June 2017, Els waits for the man in a small, empty office. She’s extremely nervous. Any moment now, she will look a murderer in the eyes. “He cried in the hallway,” Els said. “This made me feel calm, ‘nothing can happen to me’, I thought. I knew in that moment: I’m doing this for myself. And maybe it can help him too. He never wanted to hurt us like this.”
After her brother Fred is killed by his partner, Els feels the need to get in contact with the perpetrator. Through Perspectief, Els talks to him in prison. From that moment, Els knows that forgiveness is the way to go for her. “I wanted to live, not to survive. And you can only live if you let your heart speak.”
Not everyone around her understands Els and her need to get in contact with the perpetrator. “It makes me feel lonely when my loved ones blame me for this. When all I want is to spread love. It disrupts you, if you don’t forgive.”
What made you ultimately decide to get in contact?
“I didn’t want to get stuck in the process, I wanted to take on the confrontation to learn from it. Because I didn’t want my brother Fred to have died for nothing.”
How did the contact help you?
“The moment he looked at me, after he didn’t dare to at first, was such a healing moment for me. I can’t express in words what that meant to me. It gave me peace.”
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